Christmas time is here

Okay, so I'm in Kentucky once again, so as to shop my heart out right before christmas, and then shop some more after and spend some time with "the fam." I'm looking forward to seeing my brother when we reach Louisville, and I'll feel good once I've actually gotten presents for someone. Anyone. Just one. It feels a tiny bit more like the holiday season, but it's still not there. I'm not expecting much more either. It's like 60 tomorrow here, but it's supposed to suddenly drop temperature christmas day, and boy am I looking forward to that. I should see Sweeney Todd and National Treasure 2 whilst being here, since that's what my brother and I do when we're bored, but who knows with him living here now, he could have like.. friends and stuff. But I brought the Wii just for him, since he's been vidi game deprived.

Either way I should see National Treasure 2 late at night right around christmas, since it's our tradition that got started with teh LOTRs. Go see the latest showing, and when you get out it should be snowing. That last part will probably not prevail this year though.

Anywhoo, all I'm trying to say is, I have internet in Bowling Green!!! thank YOU laptops and neighbor's unrestricted networks.

Ima Robot

So, I haven't been reachable; my phone breathed its last breath, and now that I have a new phone (a shiney razr 2,) but my pre-exam week is way more tedious and time consuming than my exam week because various things are due and I have to give a speech on something I've learned in my life which I wish to imbue to the audience. This is a tough topic it seems since I'm not going to flick through an advice book to do it. I want it to mean something to me, at least a bit, but I can't really think of anything past "don't procrastinate, or you'll end up at holmes, but i guess you already know that."

Moving on, really what I'm trying to say is, with work on top of school, I'm a bit crushed at the moment. I have less schoolwork than you university folk, but I also have less time to do it.

And to top it off I have to sign up for next semester and that in itself could take hours, and it needs to be done right around the same time as everything else.

On a prettier note, the notebook I use for class is this green fabric notebook with a lightning bolt on it that I've tried to use for a couple of years, but it never quite fits in my backpack and I give up. In using it now, it's becoming amazingly colorful and full of well thought out doodles and symbols. Due I guess to being stuck in the library with nothing to do because I had done all my homework at the beginning of the school year. Now I just try to think of more things to put on it. Almost like stickers, but I make them. I don't know if this makes a lot of sense, but whatever it makes, I think that notebook is becoming my almost sole artistic outlet, and I have a bigger socket than previously thought.

Everybody's updating!! (hint hint jonny)

So... my phone fell into the toilet. And I was just telling people how weirdly resilient my razr has been. Right now if I put the battery back in, it boots up, and I can call people, but the ring volume button doesn't work correctly, and the screen doesn't work at all, so I'm going to let it dry some more.. but earlier it messed up, but the screen showed something, so we'll see where this takes us. It shouldn't be too bad though, because my parents are all about getting me a new phone.

Also, my digital camera stopped working, so I fiddled, and it can turn on when it's charging, but that's it, so I think the battery might have died. Gunna try to buy a new one to see if that solves things.

My social life is seeming a bit better, albeit still a bit odd, but hey, things usually get better in situations such as zis.

I start making a real post, then I just lose all trains of thought and fall into shorter and shorter tidbits.

I have so much work to do for school. arggarg.

IMPORTANT EDIT: I have just positioned my mirror next to my monitor so I can watch (more look at sometimes) TV without having to crane my neck. tis lovely, though conan sitting on the left of people is a bit odd.

Ending pollution is the only solution.

So. I want friends. It's crazily annoying here. I need to make friends with brand-stinking-new people in the same old town. I kinda have my eye on a couple of people at holmes to be friends with, and I'm only vaugely succeeding. I can talk to them, but I want to build it to have someone to hang out with, but that's hard when you don't have a car (the car situtation as has gotten crazy times more complicated, but it may get a lot simpler sometime). I can't just be like "Yeah, let's go eat there, I'm game!" when I'm waiting on a ride from my dad. Also, work limits me a little bit, but it's also stopping me from completely wasting away in front of the television with nothing to do, and it gives me interaction with people.

On the other hand, I'm way better at talking to people. If I hadn't worked at Sal & Mookies, I wouldn't even have almost friends. Of course, who knows if I would have failed Gov't, and gone to Holmes, but that's w/e.

People tend to ask me why not Hinds. If I'm gunna stay at home anyway, Holmes is closer, and I would know more people at Hinds. Although this seems to be what I want, those people aren't nessesarily my friends. Some people at Hinds live-on campus might be, but not so much the commuter campus. Here the only people from Murrah in my classes graduated a couple of years ago. All the just graduates in one of my classes went to MRA apparently (makes sense as I am in ridgeland.) There are some cool people though. Rebecca Disharoon is someone I've seen that I wouldn't actually mind being friends with. Also, just sitting down next to me at a computer is Christina (it's hard to remember her name for some reason, and it's not just me), who goes to Holmes, and works at Sal & Mookie's. At first I didn't know if I would like her, being so peppy and sparkley-eyed as she is, but she's awesome. Once when she wasn't as happy I was totally pissed at the person who made her so. Can't just steal someones awesome happiness like that, it's just not cool. She's a candidate for friend.

I should stop writing and get to work. Even though it's 9:02 and I have till 12:15 when my next class starts. Le sigh. It's what I get for bumming rides off of other people. On the other hand, I like spending my nights doing whatever and then doing my homework in the mornings, even so that I come early when I don't have to. Just not this early.

Oh, and my awesome speech teacher, who is definately the coolest, funniest, and best of all my teachers, makes writing a speech seem much easier than expected. Really quite awesome, though I'm sure it will dribble out of my shaking mouth, I'll be semi-prepared and not over-worked for it.

I want a new iPod nano, and i really shouldn't. Having a lot of money you're not saving up for anything in particular is sometimes a bad thing. (also, there's the iPod touch, either way, I would do a lot of frikken thinking before either.)

and I need a new phone, but I don't consider the iPhone. Just a weirdie I guess. Srsly thou, AT&T totally gave up all new phones for the past year to get the iPhone. Frikken annoying, when I looked for a new phone a year ago, decided I didn't want any of them, looked now, and it's the exact same selection plus the iPhone. Lame. (I do like that the iPhone is totally taking us into 'the future' though, cus people who wouldn't buy such a phone do, and it's like star trek style with a touch screen and no real buttons)

Post talk like a pirate day, number 19

So, today was my birthday, the 19th of my life so far.

I can say it was better than expected, for I was expecting nothing. I was expecting my least favorite classes in school (algebra and spanish) and then work, with no presents. Yesterday though, feeling a bit sick I was, and I convinced my mom to let me stay home today. It would have been harder, but my dad is out of town, and since she has to give me rides, it was a bit more convenient for her as well.

So, sleeping late, I was first woken up by Meghan who sang 'happy birthday' to me over the phone. One of the best wake up calls ever. I did however go back to sleep after, so it seems kinda like a dream. Jonny texted a happy birthday message also, so before I was even up I had multiple greetings of the day. Turns out I had major sleep to catch up on, so I slept nicely. Got up and furiously did spanish homework online since it was due at 11pm, and I would be at work then. Got to work where Joe found out it was my birthday and offered me a free pizza. He was appalled I hadn't asked the day off, but I had forgotten, and then figured that work was better than me sitting home alone "celebrating." Worked with a new girl, Camille, who I really like a lot. She left a bit early so I closed half-way by myself, but it was fine. Getting home I was greeted by cards from my parents and grandparents, an icecream cake, a bag of kit kats, a bag of little tokens, and my mom told me my real present is that she is getting a ring fixed of hers (the stone is a little wobbly) so that she can give it to me (it being my great grandmother's and she gave it to my mom at 16, and told my mom to pass it on). It's actually really pretty, and I like it a lot. So, I liked my birthday.

Now to eat my birthday cake which is melting in front of me.

Hasta luego.

EDIT: this is one of the funniest things i've ever seen. http://winterson.com/2005/06/episode-iii-backstroke-of-west.html

Alive

Okay, so I'm alive and shiz, but whatever. School- Holmes, stupid people, I stand out as smart, it's super weird, blah blah blah. Mainly I'm on here to post that I went to www.careercruising.com and using the username- nycareers and the password- landmark, I was given these careers

1.	Special Effects Technician
2.	Taxidermist
3.	Industrial Designer
4.	Costume Designer
5.	Plumber
6.	Set Designer
7.	Makeup Artist
8.	Cabinetmaker
9.	Sign Maker
10.	Office Machine Repairer
11.	Animator
12.	Model Maker

You usually post the first 10, but I liked Model Maker as my last one way better than Office Machine Repairer. I really like that Set Designer and stuff like that is in there. It only asked my 39 general questions, but it seems to come up with great answers, and I like that. ... my dad worked for a plumber as a kid. I hear he stank quite a bit when he came home. Taxidermy is weird. Don't think I could do it. I just really like this list. Everyone should do this.

Michael is asleep on my couch. MSA really drains him. It's crazy really. I'm a bit tired myself though, I should probably get him to go home.

See ya, wouldn't want to be ya! (btw, totally not true, my life is suckage at the moment)

Kentooky!

Vacation! [will add more in a few whoores.]

Okay, more than a few, but whatever. So today was pretty rocking. I went with my brother to the largest go-kart track in Kentucky, which was about 20 minutes away from Louisville. They had many an arcade game and an outside, lit at night, mile and a half go-kart track. The place was called Kart Kountry. We played this game in the arcade where your on a real tumbling trampoline with a divider in the middle, and two b-ball nets on each side. You try to score in the other person's net and can block when they try to score on you. Very awesome. I tied with my brother, but it's pretty easy to shoot when the person is going back down. Very fun just being on a real tramp though. Also can be very tiring. Yes, I said those last couple of sentences. On the awesome windy (as in jagged and loopy), long track I got to slide through turns, pass people who had purposely slower karts (kids and the such,) and just pass people awesomely. I almost side rammed this kid, but turned just so that I was about an inch away from him parallel. Totally sweet. My brother ended up spinning out at the start of our second go, but he got back on track quick enough.

So today was good. Also I just have access to a computer, and that makes my days mucho better.

Hopefully soon we will go to Six Flags Kentucky Kingdom to ride coasters and rides we know like the back of our hands, and also to King's Island where we will ride "Beast," an awesome wooden coaster that is a classic we've been on before, and new, "SON OF BEAST," which is the only wooden coaster with a loop. Yes, a loop. Actually, the loop is steel, but the rest is wooden, so it should be amazing. I love coasters.

Oh, and I've spent about a whole paycheck on clothes and spending cash. It makes me sad, but now I have too many sundresses, new sunglasses, a new swimsuit, swim trunks for handiness, and some sweet life is good flip flops that I like a lot.

P.S.- I saw a green interstate sign that was in a different font than usual. Totally weird.

P.P.S- salmon

A failure.

Apparently I might fail school says Ms. Carrington. Which I don't completely understand. Well, I'll understand when I go to a parent teacher principal type meeting. Not graduating would be.. I can't even imagine.

Over the past few weeks I've been needing to do my work more than I have ever before in my entire life, yet I couldn't get myself to do it. I would try, then I wouldn't. I just sit there. This is torturous to myself. I'm the reason I'm failing school. It's me and me alone. Sure I get sick, but that's not an excuse for my failure. Not my failure at school, I feel like it's a failure at life. Because why can't I get myself to do it? WHY? cus I suck. Why is it that I can work, but can't do homework. That I can write a paper in class, but just do everything else I can possibly think of at home so I end up not doing it at home. I wrote a poetry response in school the other day. It took me 40 minutes to start though. I just sat there, wallowing. That's what I do now, I wallow. Because I suck.

Sometimes I wish something is legitimately wrong with me, that way it's less my fault, but it's just my fault, I get distracted, and I might have ADD, but who cares? I should still be able to do my fucking work. I've wanted to cry about this for weeks, and I don't mean a couple of tears, because I did that while I was in Mrs. Williams class room the other day, and I wasn't letting go, I just couldn't hold it in, so I leaked a bit. I want to bawl. It's another thing. Even when I feel like my life is going to shit, like I have more pressure on me than ever before in my existence, I cover it up. I don't think about it; I push it back and joke and never touch it until I'm laying in bed, scared out of my mind.

I want to walk with my friends. I want to go to college. Other than that I could care less.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME? Nothing. Everything. I suck that's what. I am a fucking piece of shit that is pompous and too confident everything will be okay. I think it will all be okay too much. Usually that's a good thing, but for me it just makes things worse, because I don't try because of it. God damn it I suck.

Chocolate Rabbit Embryos

One year my mother, after the Easter events had been ... had, she asked my brother to go to the grocery with her. He refused, and when she got back, she just mentioned in passing that she saw the easter bunny there. "Dang!" yelled my brother. I shall do this to my kids. I plan on it. It is great.

I wish we still celebrated Easter, but we just make a nice meal and buy candy the day after because it's on sale, but we used to do all that awesome stuff. Not for the religious reasons, but for fun, and hence why we no longer do it. I don't believe in the Easter Bunny any longer, and that was what the fun was about for my brother and me. This is probably what will happen with my kids, they will believe in a bunny, then not, but we will still dye eggs 'cus that's just awesome and fun.

Hiding actual eggs is bad when you don't find one. Smelly.

Let's do this thang.

So, after reading through Ammon's blog and semi-planning to skim through Mr. Jones's blog, and Spencer having a blog, I'll update my own blog. The thing about me and blogs is, well, I run out of things real fast, adn then I just end up sayign all these small things that have been on my mind for a while. Little tidbits if you will, and trust me, you will.

Like, I was just thinking about how much I miss the X-files, and the mystery of each episode, and the backdrop of siblings being abducted by aliens.. maybe. This show has been replaced by the likes of LOST, and I will admit, I watched Surface last year. But, a day to day mystery is getting less common, with an overall "you'll never find out" mystery getting cozy in it's place.

Adding to the here to there aspect of this first real post, I'll mention potential. Potential makes me sad, or I should say I make potential sad. I've never lived up to it. It's been there, so it let me skate by. I'm one of the biggest slackers I know. Bigger ones didn't graduate High School. I like to think because college is a completely different enviroment, I'll be different. I hope I'll be different. I don't like to think if I won't be different. I should go to sleep so I won't be tired during my sweet interview at Sal and Mookies tomorrow. I think I'll continue this post later, right now it's too . . . vast to get down in the few minutes I'm limiting myself to.

I love webaddress of my blog. Straight up.

Numba UN!!

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